Raw writing
by Stephen Owens raw short stories
Welcome to the raw writing experience. Sure, sometimes I type, but right now I'm just giving some dictations, and I think that's the way we're going to have it right here. No AI usage, of course, except for a little bit of spelling and punctuation checking, and then maybe sentence spacing. I do like my staccato feel, if I can get it.
This is a set of raw novellas that's supposed to organically flow in an attempt for me to build a world-building fantasy type thing because, I have to be honest with you, I'm just terrible at building fantasies. I'm highly creative, but I can't realistically invent anything, or else I would have already been on another planet or something. I don't know, or a time machine. But these are a set of raw novellas that may appear to be fractionalized but are very interconnective. Where it leads to, I have absolutely no idea, but we are going to find out.
Novella One.
Two friends were walking in a forest. Some might think it would look whimsical or mystical, but to them, it was everyday, ordinary, could even be called normal. But they had never been in this part specifically, and they had been traveling for quite a long journey.
One friend said to the other, as he came across a mushroom quite large, "You know, my feet hurt, and I surely need some shoes. I think I could use this mushroom as a shoe."
And the friend said, "Well, it is big enough, but you have to understand that that's life, and there's life in it, on it, and underneath it. And you're going to destroy it to walk on it when we can just continue on our journey and eventually we'll find some shoes that are appropriate for you."
And the other friend said, "You know, you're correct, and I appreciate you allowing me this opportunity at perspective, a learning moment." And the two friends continued on.
And as they did, they heard this voice off to the right say, "Hey, wait, buddy."
And the two of them turned around. And the one who needed shoes said, "Oh, wait, you can actually speak?"
And the mushroom said, "Yes, I can."
And the fella said, "Well, wait a second, how do you know English and you speak it so well?"
And the mushroom said, "That's not important right now. We can get to that later. What is important is I heard you guys' conversation and your debate."
And the guy interrupted and said, "Yeah, you know, we came to the understanding that we thought it would be inappropriate to wear you as a shoe, dude."
And the mushroom was like, "You know, I appreciate that. That's very kind of you. Had it been any other mushroom, that would make sense. But here's the thing: I actually am a shoe and a mushroom."
And the two of them looked at each other, perplexed, almost like a paradox and a conundrum mixed as a paranundrum. They looked back at the mushroom with half-cocked smiles and said, "What?"
And the mushroom said, "Yeah, no, dude, see, look, we're this species of mushrooms, this variety of or something. I don't know. Like, I'm not a scientist. You know, I went to school for it and whatnot. But like, it's built in my code that we are mushrooms, or mushrooms. We're this combination of shoes and mushrooms. But here's the thing, dude. We have to choose the person who wills us through consent in this form and whatnot. And like, I think you guys are totally cool. Your feet smell dope. I can clean them if you want, and I can give you some nutrients. And you can give me water. And like, we can have this journey. Like, you can walk on me, dog. Like, I can take it. This is what I'm built for. I'm a mushroom."
And the two of them looked at each other and they go, "No shit, really?"
And the mushroom said, "No, seriously, dude, no shit. And like, if you can avoid shit, that'd be really great. I like stepping on stuff, but I am one to get pretty muddy. And like, there are like some nutrients and shit. So like, if it happens, it happens. But hey, no worries, man. Put me on. Try me on. I'm pretty comfortable with it."
And the two of them thought about it. And they didn't find that this mushroom was a worry to them. Like, it was going to eat their feet like a piranha or anything like that. And this wasn't like some fairy tale gorgeous mushroom that one would find in some made-up movie or something like that, because this is real life. And real life matters.
And so these two approached the mushroom. And three other mushrooms, the equivalent size, popped up and said, "Hi, we're here to be the rest of your feet. Is that okay?"
And the other two, without any worry, said, "Yeah, that's freaking awesome. This is great. What do we do? Do we like rip you from the earth? Wouldn't that hurt?"
And they're like, "No, you don't have to do anything. We got this. You just stand still. We're going to wear you. We'll be on you forever. When you go to sleep, we'll do our thing. Don't even worry about it. We're going to clean your feet. It'll feel comfortable. Like, you don't even have us on you. Sometimes you might not even think that you have us on. And we'll be right there when you look, and we'll say, 'Hey, buddy, we're right here.' And we'll go on with our day."
And the two of them thought that that was the greatest thing that they had ever heard. And so they did just that. They came to the willful conscious consent decision to these mushrooms. And an eternal transaction was made. And they continued on their journey.
And the mushrooms said, "By the way, where exactly were you guys going?"
And who the fuck are you?
And the two of them looked at each other and laughed and said, "Oh, that's a real The two guys had been walking for quite a while, and they realized to themselves that they hadn't even established names for each other. While they called themselves friends, that was only because of the journey they were forced on. They didn't actually know who each other were. They didn't grow up with each other, they weren't familiar with each other, they never had cereal with each other. They didn't even know if one another had even seen a movie.
But they certainly knew the dangers of the path they had been on before, and possibly where they were headed to now, for the reasons that they must, which aren't yet revealed. And, you know, I'm just going to keep it that way for right now, so, okay?
The two guys hadn't yet come across the mushrooms, but they still hadn't yet destroyed their shoes, if that makes any grammatical sense, which I don't think it does. But anyways, we'll move on.
These dudes decided to call themselves Dude and John, for very specific reasons on their journey, because one of them accidentally called the other one, maybe through habitualisms, Dude, in the immediacy of danger, and so did the other, calling him John. Dude didn't mean to call him John, but while he was hanging from the weirdly slanted cliff, holding onto the tree branch of life that was growing onto his hand and bleeding into his veins, he could see the bile demon down below, whose true name they had not yet known, forming this black liquid of fungi up towards the two of them, and he yelled out, "John!"
Both were perplexed. The shaft where they were hanging remained still, and even the bile demon paused for a moment, like gravity was at zero and something just happened that wasn't supposed to. But we're not realistically going to talk about that now, that's just exposition.
So, the Dude and John were walking and they were super hungry. It was nighttime. They could see this light off into the distance of the forest that they were now lost in. It had a familiarity, though it still was not theirs, probably because it realistically wasn't their dimension in the first place.
The two of them approached the light with caution, hoping that it might be a gas station where they might be able to communicate with somebody and figure out something, and maybe even hustle for some food. But then again, the last one that they were at, they met the near terrifying end of their bodies and souls to that of Mortimer the Rock Bird, as they described it, because it was really indescribable—an organic rock in the shape of a bird, almost like a phoenix, that ran a gas station with an attitude for everybody and wouldn't stop following them around and telling them to get out, even though they had the proper money in that dimension. So, the approach of caution was definitely well appropriate at this moment, is what they understood.
As they made their way closer, they found that the smell intensified of that of some sort of delicious beef jerky with some sort of buttery glaze, yet a hint of a lime sweet with maybe some sort of fruit berry that didn't exist within their dimension that tingled their nose more than anything other than of the other ingredients, which is really weird to say, but in this dimension it makes sense.
The two of them were nervous. They had seen that there's food hanging over this bonfire, almost like some sort of cliché western, with nobody around, and they were wondering if it was a trap, and if it was, was it meant directly for them? But they were super hungry, because it had been a few hours since they had eaten, and for them, being infected with the time particles, they had to consume as much as they possibly could, and so by all technicalities, they hadn't eaten for a week.
The two of them grabbed their hands, and knowing the dimensional rules of the buddy system, they started to skip in a rhythmic pattern. They were 42 years old, one wearing a red, blue, and white jumpsuit, almost out of some 1950s superhero comic book, and the other one wearing a blue one. Or wait, one was wearing red and the other one was wearing blue. I got lost as the narrator for a second. I am so sorry about this. There was a knock at the door, and I had to take a look. My apologies. We're back to the story. Everybody is totally cool. Don't worry about that. Don't destroy the universe, and reader, I actually literally mean that last part.
Anyways, so the two of them approached with caution by skipping, and their shoes held together very well, which is something that they were afraid of, because just prior to all of this on their journey, they didn't seem like they were going to, especially when they were walking on razor blades that were made out of sugar crystals that didn't depart. It was super strange for them. They didn't understand it, but found it very quite tasty, a little bit of a treat, but it was also dehydrating. But that's neither here or there, and I get lost in these moments. Anyways, let's get right back to it. Don't destroy the universe, anybody. I'm getting right back to it, all right?
So here we are, getting right back to it. These two dudes, one Dude and one John, are entering up to the fire, but something happens, and we're going to switch over to the next novella on that, because that's a long one, and we're pretty sure thatThe Dude and John approached the bonfire and the food with apprehension. They were drawn in, almost in a cartoonish way, as if flowing with the dynamics of it all, knowing that in this universe, there isn't realistically much fluid dynamics – only enough to calculate where one needs to stop so they don't continue onwards and flow into everything. It's an absurd dimensionality, and they really wanted to get out of it.
As they got closer to the food, they looked around before touching anything, worried that this could quite possibly be yet another trap. They pondered for about two or three minutes. In fact, John looked at his watch and said, "You know, it just happens to be 3.14 right now, and I think we're going to be okay." The Dude said, "You know, that sounds pretty appropriate." The two of them pulled out a joint, lit it up, got a little high, and pulled the meat from the fire.
And as they did, that's when the meat started screaming, saying, "Hey buddy, what are you doing? Stop that! What are you doing?" The two of them immediately stopped. The meat started to scream, not in pain, but more like a boss who was frustrated that they were doing a job and were interrupted, now having to start all over.
In fact, that's what happened. The meat said, "Hey buddy, I have been working tirelessly night and day for the past three days straight to solidify this meat shell right here that I got going on for a special event that's going to happen. And the two of you interrupted me, and that is highly inappropriate. What do you have to say for yourselves at this moment? Because I'm about ready to dock your pay."
Now, John and The Dude were already familiar with the fact that any company out in this dimension can dock one's pay, and they didn't have any more money to give. If one doesn't have money to give, that means they go straight to the gallows, and they didn't want to go straight to the gallows because that's not a debt one wants to incur.
So John and The Dude looked at this piece of meat on the stick and thought to themselves, "You know, it's true. That was highly inappropriate of us. And we could tell you this: had it been anybody else right now, I think they would have kicked you, and you would have went flying into that forest over there, giving them the opportunity to run away. And we're just not that type of individual."
The meat stopped right there and thought about that, and the danger it posed. But realistically, it's not because they allowed them to know that it wasn't a thing they were going to do. And you could see in their eyes it wasn't.
And so the meat said, "You know what? You're correct. It's okay. I can understand the misunderstanding. The two of you look pretty skinny. And if you come into my office over here, I've actually got some dried-out beef jerky that I can give to you and not sell to you. Would you like that?"
And so they did. They went inside, had some iced tea, and all of them shared a joy. The meat said, "Wow, this is really good stuff." And they said, "Yeah, we got it from this really wicked cool dimension." And the meat said, "Wait a second, what do you mean by dimension? What's a dimension?"
And the two of them looked at each other and thought, "Oh no, they weren't supposed to say that word. That's something that you can't say there in that dimension because it might just break it." So the meat said, "Wait, I've never heard that word before. What's this concept? What are you talking about? Sounds very familiar. I think maybe I've heard this. What's going on here a second? Why am I a meat?"
Suddenly, the two of them didn't know what to do. They threw up the tablecloth, which went around the meat but didn't harm it. They ran out of the meat construction man's office as quickly as they possibly could, knowing that they couldn't be identified by their credit system to be docked because he got that from the two of them. They ran back into the forest that they did not want to go into in the first place, but they knew they would be able to get lost into it. But they just didn't know in which direction they were going to get lost.
And while it does sound like it's going to end right there, it's not, because some wicked fucked up shit just happened right then, and the weed started to transform within John, not The Dude. John said, "I don't know what's going on, but I don't feel good right now," and he started to float up into the air.
The Dude said, "Shit, man, what's happening right now?" John said, "I don't know, but it feels like there's a wet rug inside of me." John started to fly up even more. The Dude said, "John, wait! Dude, don't fly up there, man! I won't be able to get you down. If you fall, it's going to hurt, and that's not going to be good, my friend." John said, "I know, dude." John started to fly away even more, and The Dude lost sight of him.
Then The Dude heard a pop. It was loud, but nothing rained down. But he could see in the sky there was a pink cloud. John was lost, but The Dude knew inside his heart John wasn't dead. Okay, so here's the next novella in this weird story. John walks up behind the dude and says, "Hey, yo, what's up, dude?" He taps him on the right shoulder. The dude looks to the right and then back to the left, almost like a joke. Because, you know, I told you John doesn't die at the end. The dude, perplexed, says, "Whoa, dude, aren't you like supposed to be dead?"
John replies, "No, yeah, it kind of seemed that way. And by all technicalities, I was. But it's been seven years, and I need you to eat this towel."
The dude says, "Wait, hang on a second now." John retorts, "No, you can't ask questions right now, my man. We've got like a time limit to go on right now, and you need to eat this towel."
"I can't eat this big, giant, white cotton towel!"
"No, trust me, you totally can. It'll work, believe me." And so the dude does, and it totally works. He eats the towel nearly instantaneously, without even choking on it.
The dude even replies, making a comment by saying, "Wow, that went down pretty easy. It wasn't even dry."
"Yep," says John.
"Why'd you have me do that?"
"Because I'm really tired of them asking me for the towel in the next dimension that we're going to go to."
"What are you talking about?"
And that's when John and the dude turn to their left, and they're automatically in another dimension. The dude says, "Okay, well, I don't know what's going on here, but can you explain all this to me?"
"Explain what?"
"What do you mean? You told me you're going to explain to me when we got to this dimension."
"What do you mean, we're in another dimension?"
"When's the last dimension that you remember?"
"Well, we were walking up to the piece of me, and then it started to scream. And then, oh, well, I kind of forgot everything." He said, "Well, that's just amazing. I don't understand what's going on because suddenly you're behind me after poofing into a big, giant puff of cloud that didn't make any sense after lifting off into the air. And then you had me eat a towel after I thought that you were dead, my man."
John says, "None of that makes any sense, but I'm pretty certain that you're going to need to puke up that towel."
"Why?"
"Well, I once heard that if you don't puke up a towel, it'll expand, and you'll puff up beyond the expansion of your own topological state."
"Where'd you hear that from?"
"The Discovery Channel, in one of the dimensions that we went to."
"Oh, that makes sense." John says, "Yeah, you're in the bathroom."
So, the dude sticks his finger in his mouth and pukes up the towel just as easily as he put it down. He said, "Wow, that actually felt pretty good, but I don't think I could do that all the time." John replies, "It's probably best not to."
They open up the towel and see that there's this really weird, confusing puzzle on there that looks like a map. They say to each other, "I'm pretty sure this is a map, but there's no real way of us knowing. Maybe we can ask somebody in this really big place. It looks like an infinite coliseum."
The map says, "Well, that's kind of technically correct."
"Whoa, you can talk?"
"Yep, I could totally talk," says the towel. "John, I've got the memories that you wanted me to store for you. Are you ready for me to upload them back into your brain?"
"Well, I guess I better gotta." And so it did. Then John remembers everything. He looks at the dude and goes, "Okay, dude, now I can explain. This really weird thing that to get into here, I have to forget. But you don't. It's just this thing that happened because of this implant that got planted in my brain while I was getting my PhD. That took seven years." He knows the next question is likely gonna be, "So does it mean that you're seven years older than I am?"
John then says, "No, I'm not seven years older than you are because of the time particles and dilation. I was able to come back, and we're still the exact same age, and we still have the same birthday, my friend."
The dude says, "Well, you know, that both makes sense and is highly confusing. But where is it that we need to go? Are we in some sort of like court system?"
"No, we're actually in the equivalent of a health system that's more like a Walmart, but it's expansive throughout the entire universe. It's their entire ecological system of the universe. It's very weird here in this dimension, and there's a lot of rules to it. And it's all in the back of these crib notes of this towel, but we can't read them. Only the towel can. But that's cool because it's got some sort of sentient life." "Yep, that's right," John says. "The towel. You can call me Towel Map."
The dude says, "It's not very inventive."
"Neither am I," says the towel map. "I'm just a towel map." And they start to walk off into the distance for the next adventure.John can't die at the end. John died at the end.long story."
And they went on a journey. The end.
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